"Kegels, Yoga, and Ceiling Fans"

Just.... don't.... ask.

Another convo with Charlie Watson.

[22:34] Musing: ceiling fans suck ass
[22:34] Pedro Sanchez: you're using it wrong :-D
[22:34] Musing: I am just trying to change the bulbs
[22:35] Pedro Sanchez: yeah, you're definitely doing it wrong, then
[22:37] Musing: =(
[22:37] Musing: The little fuckers won't come out
[22:38] Pedro Sanchez: How sturdy is it?
[22:38] Musing: It's like the damn bulbs are glued inside
[22:38] Pedro Sanchez: how sturdy is the ceiling fan?
[22:39] Musing: Not very
[22:39] Musing: Standard
[22:40] Musing: It's a nicer one, but it's not sturdy enough to really rough it up
[22:40] Pedro Sanchez: ok, this is what you do
[22:40] Pedro Sanchez: Get some duct tape
[22:40] Pedro Sanchez: and a ladder
[22:41] Musing: OK..... ?
[22:41] Pedro Sanchez: Ok, now you're going to have to stretch a little first
[22:41] Pedro Sanchez: Do you know any yoga?
[22:41] Musing: Yes
[22:41] Musing: LOL
[22:42] Musing: I can bend over backwards LOL
[22:42] Pedro Sanchez: Ok, do that
[22:42] Musing: And then?
[22:42] Pedro Sanchez: and are you familiar with kegels?
[22:44] Pedro Sanchez: *taps foot*
[22:46] Musing: Um, yes
[22:47] Pedro Sanchez: Did you do some yoga?
[22:48] Musing: LOL I'm ready baby
[22:48] Musing: I kegeled while I yogad
[22:48] Pedro Sanchez: honey, that's not enough kegels if you're done already
[22:50] Musing: LMAO
[22:50] Musing: It's not like you would know ;)
[22:51] Pedro Sanchez: honey, I know all
[22:51] Musing: ROFL
[22:51] Musing: Do you know how many books I ordered?
[22:51] Pedro Sanchez: For the next WSR, I'm adding in every female's menstrual cycle on server so we can project moody weeks
[22:52] Pedro Sanchez: You're the wild card, though
[22:52] Musing: LMAO
[22:52] Pedro Sanchez: damn endocrine system
[22:52] Pedro Sanchez: anyway, back to the ceiling fan
[22:52] Pedro Sanchez: do you have the duct tape?
[22:52] Musing: I brought duck crepes!
[22:52] Musing: Shit
[22:52] Musing: be right back
[22:53] Pedro Sanchez: I think they have a cream for that
[22:53] Musing: OK, back
[22:54] Musing: duct tape
[22:54] Musing: some C4
[22:54] Pedro Sanchez: and a ladder?
[22:54] Musing: and a ladder
[22:54] Pedro Sanchez: Ok, good
[22:54] Pedro Sanchez: Now how does the celing fan turn on/off?
[22:54] Pedro Sanchez: is there a switch or a pull string?
[22:55] Musing: Both
[22:55] Pedro Sanchez: ok, we're going to opt for the pull string
[22:56] Musing: I have a set of three switches, plus the strings on the fan itself
[22:56] Musing: kk
[22:56] Pedro Sanchez: Ok, get the duct tape
[22:56] Musing: one dumb date, coming up
[22:56] Musing: err duct tape, gotcah
[22:56] Musing: gotcha
[22:56] Pedro Sanchez: and start wrapping it around your lower thighs just above your knees
[22:56] Pedro Sanchez: now be sure to leave flaps
[22:56] Pedro Sanchez: don't just wrap it all the way around
[22:57] Pedro Sanchez: have extra sticking out on both legs
[22:57] Pedro Sanchez: and make it generous
[22:57] Pedro Sanchez: once you finish that, you're going to get on the ladder
[22:57] Pedro Sanchez: and flip your legs up and over the fan blades
[22:57] Pedro Sanchez: at this point, you're going to have to use the excess flaps to secure yourself to the fan
[22:58] Pedro Sanchez: now, while upside down, pull the string so the fan activates
[22:58] Pedro Sanchez: once you've got that covered, here's the tricky part
[22:59] Pedro Sanchez: you're going to have to remove any article of clothing near your nether regions
[22:59] Pedro Sanchez: once you have that done, while spinning...
[23:00] Pedro Sanchez: you're going to have to use your vagina to engulf each light bulb, loosen it, and release it
[23:00] Pedro Sanchez: you'll be done in no time
[23:00] Pedro Sanchez: See? I told you that you were doing it wrong
[23:01] Musing: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[23:01] Musing: You are wayyyyyyyyy to detailed in this endeavor
[23:02] Pedro Sanchez: i wouldn't want you to miss a step and accidently injure yourself
[23:02] Pedro Sanchez: each part of this is critical
[23:02] Musing: What happens if the lights turn on while I am trying to work the bulb?
[23:02] Pedro Sanchez: then you get a special treat!
[23:03] Musing: ROFL They aren't vibrating bulbs
[23:03] Pedro Sanchez: warming is good
[23:04] Pedro Sanchez: If this were a blog entry, it should be titled, "Kegels, yoga, and ceiling fans"
[23:05] Musing: It will end up a blog entry, I assure you