Travel plans and goings on...

I leave Las Vegas a lot! Come out and have a conversation:

* Portland, OR - 03/17-03/21 - for KinkFest
* NYC, NY - 04/28-05/02 - for Charlie Watson's Epic Birthday
* Seattle, WA - 05/19-05/22 - for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival

* Palm Springs - 06/10-06/13 - for Desire Leather (TBD)
* Baltimore/Washington, DC - 06/22-06/27 for DO: Fusion (TBD)
* Black Rock City - 08/27-09/05 for Burning Man

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Text Messages at a Naturalization Ceremony

Applicant: I have an envelope of materials, including the program for today's ceremony, but there is not enough light to read!

Guest: Play games on the iPhone? Just don't register to vote, the emcee will take you off the list.

Applicant: 11am! We are going to be here all day.

Guest: It's the final test. They want to make sure you really want this.

Applicant: This is really bad. Have you noticed all

Applicant: Oops! Hit the send button instead of the backspace button. Anyway, have you noticed all the weird people? Do I have to wave my flag? You can leave

Application: if you want and come back to take me to the airport.

Guest: Hahaha I HAVE noticed! And the '"fashionable" clothes they've just got to wear to this. Ugh! I figure if I leave now, I can hit Fashion Show and CC Grill before you're done.

Applicant: This is worse than church.

Guest: At least in church there is music and enough light to balance my checkbook.

Applicant: Exactly. Did you get the programme? If so, who is the guest speaker? Too dark to read my programme.

Guest: Keynotes are [Useless Assistant to the Assistant of some Local Administrative Assistant to a Local Official x 2]....

Applicant: Fabulous, they will make it well worth the wait. 93 countries. Help! There must be several citizens from "Mission Impossible" countries.

Guest: Wouldn't it be 94? I thought Czechoslovakia was now the Czech Republic and Slovakia? Hmmmm....

Applicant: Pay attention to the movie.

Applicant: I can't wait until they discuss/list the 13 original states.

Guest: You should raise your hand..... Is this in a loop?

Applicant: What will I do with freedom! Go to Nieman Marcus, of course!