I spent three days cringing, clenching, and panicking. I was not only assigned the task to edge (as in, almost there, but no orgasm allowed) no less than 12 and no more than 16 times, with the addition of an ice component after each instance... but I was also told we were going to do anal fisting.
Deviant: so since I broke your boob
Gemini: LOL
Deviant: i'll have to break your ass next. start preparing for some fisting :)
Gemini: OMG
Deviant: :)
Deviant: YUM!
Gemini: I have no words
Deviant: good:)
Deviant: i'm sure you will find a few
Deviant: so did you Google what's in store for you?
Gemini: Not yet, but that's the plan
Deviant: no need to, you're not going to be able to do anything :)
Gemini: I am scared, looking at these
Deviant: it prolly won't fit
Deviant: we sure are gonna try!!!
I spent three days and three nights downloading photos, watching videos, reading up on techniques, preparation, and potential harms. I bought a fresh, new enema kit in addition to some drug store enemas. I asked questions, I tried to mentally prepare, and...
I freaked the fuck out.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Therapy: "I don't need you. You are important."
"Mornin'." He sends her a message.
"It is, yes," she replies. "I need to resched if you'll allow."
"Aaahhh, no way. Really? :("
She feels badly. She knows he had plans for her. Devious, painful plans about which he was very excited.
She also knew he had been working hard to put it all together. And now, on top of everything else, she was disappointing him.
"Yeah, I am sorry. I am not in the right mind for play tonight. I wish I had a better statement, but I always promise honesty."
"What does that mean? Explain."
She wonders if she can explain. She's not even sure of her own understanding of what is going on. It was new but it wasn't. It had been... how long? She'd been going through this, in degrees, for quite some time.
She had been bouyed up and then crash-landed so many times she was not just a little surprised at how hard this was. Even more frustrating, she was giving it - giving him - power over her through her own, self-imposed emotional turmoil.
How do you tell someone this? How do you explain all of this to someone who is in an amazing relationship of his own and how can you think they can begin to understand? How do you admit, when you are strong and intelligent and vibrant, that you feel weak, vulnerable and dulled?
"It is, yes," she replies. "I need to resched if you'll allow."
"Aaahhh, no way. Really? :("
She feels badly. She knows he had plans for her. Devious, painful plans about which he was very excited.
She also knew he had been working hard to put it all together. And now, on top of everything else, she was disappointing him.
"Yeah, I am sorry. I am not in the right mind for play tonight. I wish I had a better statement, but I always promise honesty."
"What does that mean? Explain."
She wonders if she can explain. She's not even sure of her own understanding of what is going on. It was new but it wasn't. It had been... how long? She'd been going through this, in degrees, for quite some time.
She had been bouyed up and then crash-landed so many times she was not just a little surprised at how hard this was. Even more frustrating, she was giving it - giving him - power over her through her own, self-imposed emotional turmoil.
How do you tell someone this? How do you explain all of this to someone who is in an amazing relationship of his own and how can you think they can begin to understand? How do you admit, when you are strong and intelligent and vibrant, that you feel weak, vulnerable and dulled?
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